Well this is my final entry. I hope whoever is reading this had fun listening to me talk about our discussion posts and our projects. Kinda hurts to say goodbye right? Ive done these for twelve weeks straight and now look at me, writing my last one. Might as well make it good right?

For starters the semester hasn’t ended yet so I’ll still be doing my classwork. I just finished my 12 entries. But as of right now I am working on a project which is our Composition in 2 Genres project. Like I said before, I chose the novel “We Have Always Lived in the Castle” by Shirley Jackson.

I wrote our a free verse poem and not gonna lie.. I think its pretty good 🙂 Im only having a bit of a problem with the rationale since i’m honestly not sure what to write. I even had to google what a rationale is. Overall, I like how my assignment is going. I’m only hoping by the time it is due, it will be reviewed and improved.

This week I have been reading my chosen novel but I have so many things on my plate that I was struggling to balance it all. It’s stressful having everything due in the same week. But that’s college for you I guess.

This week in class we discussed songs, films, and tv shoes that address psychological concepts and mental health. I discussed the song “U” by Kendrick Lamar. It was definitely hitting close to home when I was listening. I did not think that I would truly feel and understand this song until I heard it. I even imagined myself when I was truly listening to it.

The harsh and overwhelming language really gave me a strong feel and I would definitely listen to it again.

This week I finally started reading the novel I chose. I chose “we have always lived in the castle” by Shirley Jackson. Im not going to get too deep into details because no one likes spoilers.

At first I struggled with choosing a book because there were so many good ones but I decided on Shirley Jackson. We had read her work before and I like her style of writing. Once I found the book, I began reading it and I was actually enjoying it.

This journal entry is a little shorter than usual today since I don’t really have much to talk about 🙁 i’m sorryyyyy

This week was not really eventful. Though I did like the story we were given since it was a short story in the horror genre. Out of the two options, I read “Strawberry Spring”. I like gory, horror stories and movies so I was definitely down to read this one. When reading it I already figure out the plot twist in my head which was that the narrator was the killer on campus

Also on Wednesday, I went out with my friend Kayla who is also in this class. We went to Barnes and Nobles to find the book I wanted to read for the class. As we were walking, we saw a street sign that looked very familiar. It says “Edgar Allen Poe St” on West 84th street in Manhattan.

Our immediate thought was to send this to our professor since we had read one of Poe’s short stories. We thought it was funny and overall had a good time 🙂

This week I mainly focused on my character assignment. Classes were “cancelled” on Tuesday which allowed me to do the first part of the paper during what would’ve been class time. I managed to finish my character analysis in about 3 hours since I did procrastinate a lot during that time. But I mean at least I got it done!

Not gonna lie, I did struggle a bit with the second part involving the research. I did not know where to start or what to add into the paper. Of course I added in what causes NPD, the symptoms, the treatment, and how the character I chose helps represent it and connect it to the real world.

Am I satisfied with the second part of my paper? Honestly not really. Because I felt like the guidelines for that specific one was vague, I did not know what I should’ve added or what I should’ve removed. Im just hoping for the best at this point.

This week I started my topic proposal. If you read my last journal entry, you would see what I wrote about. But to refresh your mind, I will be doing the character profile on Neddy Merril from “The Swimmer” and how he has narcissistic personality disorder.

Nothing much has really happened this week. We didn’t have any readings assigned this week since we are working on our character profiles. But honestly.. I should really start my paper and not leave it for last minute. I say this but watch me start it a few days before its due.

This week we read “The Stone boy” and honestly I really enjoyed reading it. Usually with short stories like that, the narrator expresses the main character’s feelings and emotions but this was different. I noticed that you can tell what everyone is feeling while we had little to no clues about what Arnold was feeling.

Imagine being a 9-year-old kid and accidentally killing your brother. Everyone thinks you are cruel and reasonable with no emotions all because you were in a state of shock. The author was smart in naming the story “The Stone Boy” because with the little to no emotions he shows, it seems like he’s stone cold.

But in reality, there must be so much going on in his mind that he does not know how to process what he did and how it happened. Everyone looks at him with an upset and weary. It’s sad really.

This week we finished up our Personal Narrative final drafts. As I edited my final, I began to think of other examples I was able to use. I even remembered one scenario that I completely forgot happened. Of course I added it into my narrative. I changed up a few things in my final that helped put it all together. I took the advice from my peers and incorporated them into my final. I fixed my grammar, I added more of my feelings, and I added more of my experiences. I think I could said job well done.

We also read a short story called “The Swimmer”. When reading the beginning, I was not as ingrained but towards the end it really caught my attention. I decided that the main character, Neddy, was childish, lively, and ignorant. It was definitely clear to see in the story. I feel like my discussion post was okay but looking back I could’ve added more things to say. But then again I prefer keeping things simple and straightforward.

This week was not as eventful. Though looking back none have really been all that eventful since it is the same routine everyday.

This week we started our personal narrative paper. I decided on using the story “The Yellow Wallpaper” as a source for my paper. I wrote about double standards with dress codes. I discussed my experience with the dress code and the sexualization of a woman’s body.

I brought up my experience in 6th grade. To summarize it, I was wearing a dress on the last day and I was told to cover my shoulders because it was a distraction to others. I was 10-11 years old. Imagine telling a child they’re a distraction because of what they wear? That is absolutely disgusting.

The next experience I brought up was in high school. It did not have to do with me but with another girl. It was very hot that day so the girl wore shorts and a regular shirt. Our principal said the way she dressed makes her look like a hooker. Everyone was appalled. A grown woman said that to a minor.

This narrative is to show what I had experienced and how common it is to happen to other women.

This week we read “banana fish” by J.D Salinger and I have to say it was a little odd and confusing at first. But after reading it a few times and really paying attention, I was able to get a grasp of what was going on. In my discussion I said: In the beginning of “bananafish”, Muriel is seen talking to her mother about their arrival. But her mother is more concerned about Seymour and what he will do to her. These concerns have appeared due to the fact that he had returned from war. This gives me an idea that Seymour has PTSD. But Muriel does not seem as concerned. Her mother asks her several times “are you all right?” It is to be believed that their relationship had changed after his return. “I mean all he does is lie there. He won’t take his bathrobe off”. That seems to be how he had been spending his days. It does not seem like they have talked much.

To really understand why Salinger added in both completely different characters, I had to analyze Seymour and Sybil’s interaction. Sybil is a young girl who freely interacts with Seymour on the beach. They even go into the water together which contradicts what Muriel was saying to her mother about how he just lies on the beach and does not take his robe off. “Are you going in the water?” Sybil said. “I’m seriously considering it. I’m giving it plenty of thought, sybil, you’ll be glad to know”. This interaction between Seymour and Sybil shows how relax and comforted he is by her presence unlike with Muriel. Here we see Seymour take his robe off and go into the water. He is comforted by her youthfulness and her innocence. Something that was stripped away from him at war. Salinger uses both Muriel and Sybil the way he does to show how Seymour is feeling and what he wants to truly feel.

This reading made me truly think about what and how people with PTSD feel. It is not easy to deal with that and sometimes it is overwhelming for people. Seymour even took his own life after having PTSD.