This week we started our personal narrative paper. I decided on using the story “The Yellow Wallpaper” as a source for my paper. I wrote about double standards with dress codes. I discussed my experience with the dress code and the sexualization of a woman’s body.

I brought up my experience in 6th grade. To summarize it, I was wearing a dress on the last day and I was told to cover my shoulders because it was a distraction to others. I was 10-11 years old. Imagine telling a child they’re a distraction because of what they wear? That is absolutely disgusting.

The next experience I brought up was in high school. It did not have to do with me but with another girl. It was very hot that day so the girl wore shorts and a regular shirt. Our principal said the way she dressed makes her look like a hooker. Everyone was appalled. A grown woman said that to a minor.

This narrative is to show what I had experienced and how common it is to happen to other women.

This week we read “banana fish” by J.D Salinger and I have to say it was a little odd and confusing at first. But after reading it a few times and really paying attention, I was able to get a grasp of what was going on. In my discussion I said: In the beginning of “bananafish”, Muriel is seen talking to her mother about their arrival. But her mother is more concerned about Seymour and what he will do to her. These concerns have appeared due to the fact that he had returned from war. This gives me an idea that Seymour has PTSD. But Muriel does not seem as concerned. Her mother asks her several times “are you all right?” It is to be believed that their relationship had changed after his return. “I mean all he does is lie there. He won’t take his bathrobe off”. That seems to be how he had been spending his days. It does not seem like they have talked much.

To really understand why Salinger added in both completely different characters, I had to analyze Seymour and Sybil’s interaction. Sybil is a young girl who freely interacts with Seymour on the beach. They even go into the water together which contradicts what Muriel was saying to her mother about how he just lies on the beach and does not take his robe off. “Are you going in the water?” Sybil said. “I’m seriously considering it. I’m giving it plenty of thought, sybil, you’ll be glad to know”. This interaction between Seymour and Sybil shows how relax and comforted he is by her presence unlike with Muriel. Here we see Seymour take his robe off and go into the water. He is comforted by her youthfulness and her innocence. Something that was stripped away from him at war. Salinger uses both Muriel and Sybil the way he does to show how Seymour is feeling and what he wants to truly feel.

This reading made me truly think about what and how people with PTSD feel. It is not easy to deal with that and sometimes it is overwhelming for people. Seymour even took his own life after having PTSD.

Reading and analyzing “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins had really opened my eyes. Not only did it give hints on the narrator’s mental illness but it also showed how trapped she is in her marriage and how feminism ties into all of it.

In the discussion I posted, I spoke about feminism and how her husband basically says ” what I say is always right”. But of course not in those exact words. He completely disregards her feelings and her suffering just because she looks better on the outside. The outside usually does not match the inside.

The wallpaper in the room symbolizes how trapped she is and what little power she has. She calls the wallpaper ugly and has the desire to rip it off the wall. Her marriage is decaying before her own eyes due to the male dominance her husband is projecting. But towards the end of the story, she rips the wallpaper completely and tells John “I’ve got out at last” which causes him to faint out of shock. She had broken out of his control

This story is really good for people who want to see both mental illnesses and feminism in a story written as a journal entry. Honestly I would actually read it again and I usually don’t say that a lot.

Did I think that I would start my college life like this? Most definitely not. I was expecting to be on campus, make friends, maybe even join a club. But due to the pandemic, everything came at a halt. Im spending my first semester online but it’s not as bad as I thought.

My classes aren’t feeling overwhelming and I try to get ahead in my work. I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far. Let’s hope it actually stays that way. My professors are very understanding and are willing to make changes due to the condition we are under. We are all trying to get used to this but it is a struggle sometimes. My lectures aren’t too long and time usually flies by when i’m in them.

Overall I do believe that I was made for college. In high school I was tired of being babied and just not having a challenge. High school was a little too easy for me so this is definitely a change of pace. This is a completely different environment that I feel way more comfortable with.

Hopefully as the days go by I will get more used to remote learning and continue to be ahead of my studies. But I’m pretty sure I got this in the bag!